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stenserenade

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(no subject) [Feb. 7th, 2027|04:25 pm]
 
welcome friends only.

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that's it. [Nov. 8th, 2009|05:50 pm]
[Tags|]
[Current Mood | loved]

THIS IS THE LAST POST.

goodbye.
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IDK [Nov. 7th, 2009|06:56 pm]
[Current Mood | guilty]

whats with the sian / i dont know / and more sian sian sian.
i got more SIAN than ever after hearing that.


yeah the feelings , gone.
so whats next ?

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the answer is [Nov. 4th, 2009|09:14 pm]
[Current Mood | blah]

dont ask.
i dont know why.

i just feel weird .

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yes its neither. [Nov. 2nd, 2009|10:49 pm]
[Current Mood | ditzy]

alicia eileen danielle serene said i look dreammmmy today
im smiling to myself ? look lost ? smiling to my phone ? stoning mode ?
SHINGZ I DIDNT AND IM NOT. i guess im rly tired.

and oh my, im eating alot.
but the weird thing is, i still feel HUNGRY.
i drank teh peng. and im kinda in the drowsy-'sehhh' mode
NICE.

thanks alicia isaac glenn, i had an awesome evening/night !
i need people to play tennis with me more often.

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the 29th [Oct. 29th, 2009|09:34 pm]
[Current Mood | confused]

i think my instructor rocks.
taught me parking in less than 30 mins
allow me to drive like speeeeeed vroom vroom
HOW COOL
love the weather tonight.


please stop assuming, leave me alone alright.

 

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what happened ? [Oct. 28th, 2009|10:19 am]
[Current Mood | blank]

i find myself saying things i dont usually talk about, feeling weird, and not even acting like myself, like recently.
what's going on.

i dont usually drink but why am I acting like some alcoholic that day.
evonnie where have you been

 

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please shine [Oct. 26th, 2009|12:48 am]
[Current Mood | nervous]


credits to lecturer ng for this song.
very addictive.
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i just want to run aimlessly [Oct. 20th, 2009|08:08 pm]
[Current Mood | hot]

im back, safely.
vietnam trip was awesome.
the place the people the food the experiences, nice!

not really sure what to blog now.
but i really wonder, does happy pill exist?
or is there smt that can take away the anger/sadness or whatever negative feeling and change it to something postive.
and i know why i feel the "angry-rush" feeling when it comes to you.
becos i want you to be good, i dont want you to continue being BLINDED. but you're rejecting whatever im telling you.
perhaps you agree with whatever ive told you, but you're still acting like a fool.
thats why.
maybe i really gotta agree with cynthia, the kaypoh-ness is in the BLOOD.
i wish i can donate it away. OH WELL.
YES YOU, the one that is reading.
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF. MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD.
thats all you need.

the weather is rly warmmmmm.
and the flu is making me so urggh.
all i need is just a good run and sleep.

run baby run!
 

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at the beginning [Oct. 10th, 2009|11:39 pm]
[Current Mood | content]

the unexpected meet up with the bestfriend just awhile ago.
hahahaha way beyond description!
i see the ***** on her face.
i feel the **** within us.
she's indeed positive.
and im happy that we're so ********** chargedddddd!
talking to her its like charging ******.
i feel good.
yes i didnt expect myself to read a few books throughout this holiday, but i did.
and the book that was recommended to me is also very awesome.
i wish i have all the time to read and appreciate the content, becos i learn so much from it.
somehow i feel that after telling so many people to be confident and have faith, i need to remind myself even more.
realised that when i was talking to m and chermaine.
anyhows, im thankful and grateful for the meeting up, chermaine wee. it was all i need.
thank you for all the messages my friend, i feel good when i read it.
a few days trip but i feel so different from the feeling i had before i went china.

goodnight, feel good and stay well.
dont worry okay. esp that cute cousin of mine. its gonna be fine (the chaotic world will be peaceful)
dont read or watch too much news to scare urself. the world is still beautiful
i will come back safely.
love from me, to you, the one that is reading this RIGHT now (:
 

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elijah love [Oct. 8th, 2009|11:43 pm]
[Current Mood | curious]

my first time taking care of a 6 weeks old baby.
hah i shall not go into the details, else i'll flood the entire page.
felt rly good to carry him in my arm, buying stuff for him, making him to sleep peacefully.
he's really small and carrying him is not an easy task eh
but i really learn alot from them today
from feeding milk/water to changing diaper and etc
a really good experience
i want to have a baby at home. uncle, jia you leh!!!!!
i think when you really love children, you wont even find them irritating when they cry.

hahaha and did I mention I was the one who think of his name!
now im gonna find him a nice chinese name.
heh heh heh(:




 

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make it work [Oct. 7th, 2009|10:29 pm]
[Current Mood | indescribable]

yesterday i was telling m how good you treated me all along.
you could be the best person in my life, the one that love and care for me all so well.
and i dont know if i ever mention it here, on my blog.. about this.
whenever i say something good or someone being close or treated me very well, there'll be an opposite effect.
it happen like everytime, and almost instantly.
since the first time when i told someone that "you're my bestfriend"
so i usually dont feel like saying this "kinda" thing out.
and what happened today?
you stabbed my heart real hard.
i got so affected.
became so weak after that.
cried really badly. my head still hurt very much now.
thank you for that becos i feel so much better to let the emotions out, all at one time.
i think i need more running and bla bla bla.
and yes.
from today onwards,
I'M GONNA BREAK THIS CURSE THAT HAUNTED ME FOR YEARS.
I WANT IT TO GET AWAY FROM ME FOREVER.
IM VERY SERIOUS HERE BECAUSE I WANT THIS BELIEF TO DISAPPEAR RIGHT FROM THIS MOMENT ONWARDS.
I WANT TO IDENTIFY THOSE IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.
I WANT YOU.
EVONNIE, ITS TIME TO STOP GIVING AWAY YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR EVERYTHING.
when its time to be nice, be really great.
but when its time to hold it and grab it, secure it and never let it go.
i'm sorry to you by giving in to someone elses.
im sorry to you becos i thought someone elses deserve you so much better.
im sorry to you becos i thought someone elses will treat you better than I do.
im sorry to you becos i thought someone elses will make your life happier.
BUT I DIDNT KNOW IM WRONG.

and in fact..

You have to allow people their free will. The more you can be happy now, enjoy your life and be present, the more that person — or someone better — will come to you. But don’t target any one person.

im gonna prove the saying wrong..
who say its only when you loses something, then you will know the importance of it?
you dont have to.
because you got the choice to choose it.
RIGHT?

P.S I'm not being agitated or angry here.
but i feel rly great to finally have the courage and inspiration to type out what's in my mind for years.

and thank you for reading this.

alright im gonna look for my switch now.





 

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heart goes out to you [Oct. 2nd, 2009|10:54 pm]
[Current Mood | curious]

im left with around 2 weeks plus of holidays, and so many (much) things happened.
today i feel rly tired, i sat there and hear them talk.
i fell asleep but i was still listening to the conversation.
then had a htht(heart to heart talk) with m.
i told m alot of things, yeah i hope she help me clear some of my blockageeees somewhere.
sometimes its rly good to let whatever that its there out. crying helps too (but i didnt)
it took me alot of courage to confess out so many things, but i feel so much better after that.
and yeah where did i get all those courage from? its rly not easy to say something to the person directly.
the key person you want to talk to. (cos many atimes we will tell it to some other people that is not directly involve)
okay cos i dont want to hide. and becos m is honest to me, so im very frank too.
i guess thats all i need? a truthful heart.
haha many people might be thinking, where to find it?
its simple, just ask urself, are you being truthful?

i rmb i was talking to this friend that day, and all we talk about is some other people.
friend family and more friends and family...
and the topic is always about some other people but US.
yepp i guess my friend didnt know what was i thinking all along.
and of course, i understand nothing about the friend at all.
yepp dont be surprise. the conversation was endless, indeed was good.
but.. so?
we ended up not knowing each other better becos whatever we talk about is revolving any other thing but us.
i ask myself, why did it ended up like that?
i agree that both are responsible for it, but no one is to be blame.
but if nobody do anything about it, things will always be the same.

sometimes, you might know someone(a friend or whoever) for a long period of time, but you may be surprise, you're actually closer to another person that you just know / know for a short period of time.
simple enough.
you might say its becos of fate.
but ask urself, its just fate? or issit about choices.
perhaps to your old friend, you might not even bother to wish him/her happy birthday. you might just simply share a present with some other friends.
but to the friend you know for a short period of time, you'll find time to get the present the person like and etc.
of course, i share it using my own experience.
im sorry, if you feel that im using "you" as the example.
but thats not the point.
im sure sometimes you hear me talking non-stop, telling you alot of stories about my friends or examples that i know of.
to me, i set that as a constant reminder to myself.
however, do you get what im trying to convey? i dont know.
but i rly did try my best to help you out.
i saw this phrase today that caught my attention.
"there's no point dragging on to the past and the person, I want to move on and find what I really want"

yes indeed theres certain things holding you back, and "dont bother..lazy to think" its always the excuse trying to forget the past?
but does it help?
im not trying to complicate things here.
but i think if you rly spend time and take the courage to think back about it.
try looking at it with a different point of view.
you might learn something out of it, and maybe it will lessen the pain alot.
oh maybe you'll think that its all OVER, so why should i think about it?
but becos deep inside you, you're still bothered by it. (but you're 'escaping' from it from the time being)
and the fact that problem arises becos of our memories, our past and our experiences.
so dont be surprise, similar kind of things will happen again.
and the cycle will always repeat until you get out of it.
how to move on?
face the reality, think about the whole incident, let the feeling (regardless if its good / bad) to let out.
even if you want to cry, just cry it out.
truely ask urself if you rly let go of it already.
and if you did, congrats!
yes of course it takes time.
and its easier said than done.
but im sure if you're unwilling to even spend this time for yourself and do nothing at all.
nobody is able to help you, more emotions will be accumulated inside.
will you be happy?

P.S i know you're running away from me, and maybe dont even feel like facing me alone.
dont know how to reply me and etc.
but its okay.
becos you're not ready to face the truth yet.
and facing me doesnt feel good cos im there to peel the onion skin of yours.
think about it..
by not peeling away the old/bad skin.
you'll never get to see the new and beautiful skin inside.
as you wish, but i really hope you walk out of it bravely and

P.S.S feel free to comment/msg/call me. feel great to exchange thoughts too.

with love. (haha i never have the intention to type such a long post, cos i plan to sleep at 11)

but its 1155 now, goodnight!  




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love struck [Sep. 30th, 2009|11:01 pm]
[Current Mood | crappy]


the song i listen to everyday, and still kinda addicted to it.
feeling rly LOW today, gah nvm im gonna face it.
face it bravely, without fear.
its okay to emo but i guess i learn something today, trust  your intuition!!!!!
ALMOST MINE.
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cos i want it that way . . . [Sep. 29th, 2009|11:10 pm]
[Current Mood | curious]

i want to see bsb(backstreet boys), my fav boyband.
i want to go airport to just loiter.
i want to fly kite becos i have nvr rly fly a kite before (its one of my bday thing-to-do), so i'll get it done sooooon.
i want to make all my wants happen.
I KNOW I CAN.

anyway was watching the show on channel u just now, that is about people saying "im sorry" to some important people in their life.
this week's story is kinda similar to mine. in a few ways..
cos i got this friend i want to meet badly for all these years, i waited and tried all ways to contact this friend of mine.
but failed.
and when i finally saw this friend and got the chance to talk alil, my friend actually doesnt remember me. not at all.

sometimes, you feel rly guilty of doing certain things, and when you finally got the courage to apologize, the person might have already forgotten that incident, or didnt even take it to heart. hah and thinking back, you might think that its very foolish for treating it seriously.
hah but looking at it at a different angle, at least you finally pick up the courage to apologize and yep dont let that same mistake happen again.

went for some job interview today, but didnt get the job due to some misunderstanding.
but its alright, i dont feel that i wasted my hols.
cos i've been talking and listening to myself.
the voice within me, which i've ignored and neglected for a long time.
now i feel good trying to communicate to it (which is myself) and found out alot of things.
fyi, im not like some nutcase talking to myself verbally, its just paying more attention to the voice within, and i find it great.
no harm, give it a try too yeah?
 

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LET GO [Sep. 28th, 2009|12:30 am]
[Current Mood | awake]

Alright I got the following post from Bryan Gan's blog which i find it meaningful, so I'll share it here.
You can also visit it at http://bryanomhealth.blogspot.com/.
I'm not trying to promote/advertise it, but like i always say, good things must share.
there's more to come, when I reveal the secret. so just look forward for my entry (:
bookmark it also can!
so for now, here you go ...


Letting Go: I often receive emails about married couples whereby the other party has betrayed and left for someone else. If I were to tell them to let go, it is easier to say then done. Most of the time when we share our problems with friends, relatives etc, the common advice given by them is 想开点。The question is "HOW?"
 

Fret not. If you can't let go at that moment, just bury the sadness in your heart and affirm that it has become "大便 waste product", which is acting as a fertiliser in your body, allowing new positive energy to grow healthily . The pain is buried and the experience/lesson learnt and overcome in the process is the fertiliser for the tree to grow healthily. You are the tree.... Growing stronger and wiser.

 
Sometimes you don't have to force yourself to forget a person or situation if you can't. Accept what has happened and bury it.
 

Aroma Oil Psychology method to move on
 

A) 1 drop of Majoram and 1 drop of Grapefruit pink onto a piece of tissue and inhale

B) Write down the situation (Betrayal, sadness, bodyache etc) on a piece of paper

C) Acknowledge it and use a red pen to strike off . Say to yourself, "It is all buried and become fertiliser now."

D) Crush and throw away the paper.
 

This has been a rather good therapy for many people because when we pen down our emotion in written form, it will not continue to stay in your mind.

 
Bryan's Healing Aroma Oil lesson learnt:
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy

In fact im in love with this song, LET GO, heard it maybe a year ago? It's still in my fav playlist (:


WITH LOVE.
 
 
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Aude aliquid dignum [Sep. 27th, 2009|10:20 pm]
[Current Mood | curious]

YESTERDAY..
happy birthday m, hope you like the present from wayne and me. (:

TODAY..
hahaha i greeted deb happy birthday right outside her block's lift just now.
she look rly shocked hur. okay thats the advantage of staying very near each other.
trust me, it was pure coincidenceeeeeee. i didnt wait for her or anything.
so thats the thing about NOT PLANNING (:
good thing she stay at the 4th. if not i might not have such a great viewwww. HAH

alright attended bryan gan's workshop and had a fruitful afternoon with m and the company.
went m's coffeeshop for frog porridge without frog. niceeee (:
kinda miss the place cos thats where i grew up. yes i stayed in the geylang area till i was ard primary 2.

aiyaya gonna do some WORK now. will blog whenever i can, goodnight (:

Aude aliquid dignum
 

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THANK YOU [Sep. 25th, 2009|12:37 am]
[Current Mood | grateful]

you know i think m was so right, yepp it seems like all the time.
i feel so bad, guilty in a way.
cos shes nagginggggg at me to do the "homework"
something that i shld have done like years ago, but i still left it untouch.
I WILL START, soooon.

okay and i promise i will stop losing things from today onwards.
i hate it when i loses something, just feel darn lousy about it.
regardless if its a living /  non-living thing, i will just keep it WELL
you know everytime when i sing, dont want to lose you now.
i realised i've actually lost so much things in life.
im gonna stop.
i want to keep you close, close to me.

anyway, i receieved a present today.
something that i bought for myself on my birthday.
im not sure if its the best present ever, but im kinda excited to see it on my table just now.

TAKE SOME TIME TO READ THIS! [;

anyway, Ms Elaine (nyp teacher) sent me this email ytd.
i'll just copy a part of it here, hope she dont mind hah

I am not sure if you are too young to understand this, but I would like to take this opportunity to also share my personal thoughts :
If you have visited enough places in this world, you will surely know how to count your blessings. At this point of my life, I ask myself again and again : What can I do for the poor kids in these countries ? They have no education, suffer poverty, and worst, get sold into slavery or sex houses at a young age. This is sickening and sad. My husband and me sponsor a total of 6 kids in different parts of this world. We believe this is the most meaningful thing we have done in our life.

I hope you will all take time to reflect on your blessings and perhaps share this simple vision with me one day:

Our vision for every child, life in all its fullness;
Our prayer for every heart, the will to make it so.

YES BE GLAD, you're reading this. you are this fortunate to be using the computer now. and just becos we are born in a better country, we lead a life that is so much better in many ways. So what about those peole who is suffering out there, do they have a choice like us? do they want that in the first place? im sure you and i both know the answer.

just ask yourself, are you really unhappy?
and why are you unhappy?
cos you're just so used to be bothered by "some thing"
and you cant believe each and everyone of us can lead a problem-less life, so you're always finding things to make yourself unhappy?
i truely believe we are the one who can control our emotion.
the question is, you want it or not?

alright ending my post here.
feel free to talk to me, about life.

S.E.N.S love (:


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come out come out [Sep. 22nd, 2009|01:03 am]
[Current Mood | curious]

i've been looking for it for the past two days
please appear soon.
now now now, where are you?
im trying to pack and keep everything in place.
im sure you're somewhere.

CEEPORT.

and thank you for the 21st, i behave so madly, so did all of you right? hah nutcase madness crazy but filled with love.

time flies, way too fast these days. . .
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hello you evonnie [Sep. 21st, 2009|12:10 am]
[Current Mood | drunk]

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry.
perhaps it didnt have to happen
and maybe the feeling could be different
or it will end in a much nicer way
but i actually let it happen again.

when will you stop? tell me

i wish i was really drunk

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